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All you need to know about brain cells and alcohol...

Wine wit and whim
The infamous 'pub landlord' (Al Murray) thinks that alcohol allows you to access the 90% of the brain that they say we don't use. Generally the more alcohol you take the more access you get to the 90% that is normally unused. As we all know intelligence seems to increase immeasurably with alcohol intake...

A sophisticated American version relies on Darwinian theory and is surely equally true:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But it naturally attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain much faster and more efficient.
All you need to know about brain cells and alcohol...
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All you need to know about brain cells and alcohol...
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Also probably the best Lager description in the world.. along with Lady Bracknell's Handbag, the motorised bar stool and other gems
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